Not only is Google the de-facto search engine, but now you can use it to see where there is a flu outbreak.

Check out the Google FluTrends. It’s really interesting how search data can be used.

At least it is in Michigan. On October 20′th, a police office in Saginaw County’s Thomas Township responded to a call from a resident who reported suspicious activity at a car wash. The office caught the man in the act of “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum“.

I have a couple of questions on this one. How can you receive sexual favors from an inanimate object? It’s not like the vacuum cleaner had any choice in the matter. The vacuum was just minding it’s own business at the car wash with the only expectation to vacuum up someone else’s mess. It was not to actually help someone make a mess.

And the other question is, wouldn’t this be rape? If the vacuum cleaner did not consent to the sexual act, isn’t that the very definition of rape? Shouldn’t this person have been charged with “raping a vacuum cleaner”?

You don’t want to use a mac. How much confidence do you have in your Microsoft Windows product that detects viruses if you yourself use an Apple MacBook Pro?

Norton should change their slogan to: Avoid Viruses – Get a Mac.

At least not in California. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed legislation that banned a driver from text messaging while driving. Wow. What a thought. I’m sure that banning it will make everyone stop. It’s not like a driver has anything else to do while driving (except PAYING ATTENTION).

Every day I drive 90 miles on a major interstate highway. I see drivers all the time doing something else other then driving – at least driving is secondary to what they are currently doing. Among those activities that I have seen that we should have legislation banning, these would be at the top of my list.

• Putting on make up.
• Changing radio channels.
• Watching TV.
• Reading the newspaper.
• Reading a book.
• Masturbating (yea, that was interesting passing that guy)
• Working on a laptop.

I’m sure that the ban will greatly decrease the incident that drivers will be texting while driving (NOT). If they do, there are still plenty of other things they could be doing.

In a “why the hell didn’t I think of that”, someone in Japan invents an air bag for the elderly. Problem is, it only protects you if you happen to fall backwards. I don’t know about you, but when my Dad was alive, I had never once seen him fall backward. It was more of a teeter-toter moment with a hold on, here I go dive forward.

I think what would be a good idea would be to have the air bags inflate with such force that they propel the wearer back into an upright position. However, that would take some calculation on the force since some wearers may find themselves rebounding to only be falling in the opposite direction.

According to a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology, men who believe in the traditional role for a woman (stay at home, take care of the kids, make my supper, etc…) make more money then those men who don’t have a traditional view of women.

Were not talking about a little more either. We are talking about $8500 (on average) more per year for those that hold traditional views.

With all this politically correct teachings that they say you should have for your sons, I say not anymore. Tell him what it should be like. Women should stay home and take care of the kids. Have supper ready on time. It will make them a hell of lot more money than if you don’t.

Arrr. The day is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Hoist up t’ main sails and set about your pillagin’. Me parrot and I be goin’ t’ set sail for t’ seven seas. So long your scurvy dogs.

A Dad in Deltona Florida heard noises coming from his daughter’s bedroom. Like any father would, he went in to see what was going on. What he found was a naked boy in his daughter’s room. Thinking he was protecting his daughter, he grabbed a pipe and swung at the naked kid. He chased the kid out of the room and then called police.

What happened next is what really pisses me off. The Dad, who was only protecting his daughter, was arrested for aggravated battery on a child. I guess one of his swings connected, and the naked boy (who happened to be the daughters boyfriend) had to be taken to the hospital where he was treated for a head wound.

Since when is it a crime to protect your family? Yea, maybe the daughter is partly to blame, but in the given situation if any dad found a naked boy in his daughters bedroom, they would do the same. The kid should count himself lucky that all he has is a head wound.

Contrary to the predictions of some, the world did not end today when the Large Hadron Collider came online. Some sued. Some partied. Most of us just went about our daily lives without a care of what could have been the last day of our lives.

But it does make me wonder. What if? What if the collision of the hadron particles caused a black hole that grew beyond what was predicted. What if they did prove the existences of extra dimensions, and those that lived there did not like us intruding?

Back in the 1940’s they said the same thing of splitting the atom. It would cause the end of the world. Exploding an A-Bomb would cause the atmosphere to catch on fire. None of that happened. We are still all here.

However, there may come a day when science does do something that it should not do.

What if?

Katherine Gunther of Lebanon Indiana is a Wiccan. And as a Wiccan, dear old Katherine decided to perform a good luck ritual in a cemetery in Lebanon. It was during this ceremony that involves the use of swords, candles and incense that Katherine stabbed herself in the foot. She was aiming at the ground, but her foot got in the way.

And the reason that Katherine was performing this good luck ritual? It was to give thanks to the good luck that she had been having recently. Makes me wonder if there is a bad luck ritual.

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