Sex with a vacuum is illegal

Posted On October 23, 2008 | Filed Under WTF

At least it is in Michigan. On October 20′th, a police office in Saginaw County’s Thomas Township responded to a call from a resident who reported suspicious activity at a car wash. The office caught the man in the act of “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum“.

I have a couple of questions on this one. How can you receive sexual favors from an inanimate object? It’s not like the vacuum cleaner had any choice in the matter. The vacuum was just minding it’s own business at the car wash with the only expectation to vacuum up someone else’s mess. It was not to actually help someone make a mess.

And the other question is, wouldn’t this be rape? If the vacuum cleaner did not consent to the sexual act, isn’t that the very definition of rape? Shouldn’t this person have been charged with “raping a vacuum cleaner”?

Comments

3 Responses to “Sex with a vacuum is illegal”

LORI on October 28th, 2008 11:40 am

Okay, so I am curious. Since I dont have that particular appendage on my body….how in the heck is such a thing even pleasurable?? I mean, wouldnt it be like one long pull???

ps i work with you wife
Mark Poffenberger on October 30th, 2008 7:56 pm

Seeing as I have never had the pleasure of receiving sexual favors from a vacuum, I can relate the story of a friend of mine. See, he had the same idea as the guy in Michigan. However, the vacuum he used did not have a hose attachment. Long story short, the attending ER doctor wrote this down: “Male patient had inserted his erect penis into the working end of a Hoover, and proceeded to have his testicle hair evacuated from his scrotum by the positive agitation of the beater bar”
LORI on October 31st, 2008 6:40 am

OH, OUCH. THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT DUDE

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